Woo’s Blog #2: What do cool future painters have in their Discman? Glad you asked…

As my favorite character on the show doesn’t technically have a name yet, let’s refer to Fat Parkman’s favorite future painter as “Rafiki”.

As we have all seen, Rafiki has a balln’ Discman that he constantly jams to. When “Park Man” is suffering from ED, or “extrasensory disorder”, Rafiki offers his Discman as an aphrodisiac to help “Park Man” thrust himself into the future. So what could possibly be playing in that Discman? After much thought and investigation, I have ruled out the millions of possible songs that it could be, and have chosen five songs as my top ten choices. Don’t do the math on that one.

Honorable Mention #1) Africa by Toto

This song was a given. I mean, they are in Africa, and I’m sure Rafiki is a continentalist. I am. Go North America! Suck on my pee pee Australia!

I shouldn’t forget to mention that Africa has some of the tightest lyrics earth has ever seen, or heard. Here’s a snippet:

Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti / I seek to cure what’s deep inside, frightened of this thing that I’ve become

Deep. Real deep.

Honorable Mention #2) Chacarron Macarron by El Chombo

If you’re fluent in Spanish (I am not, however, Wikipedia is), you’ll know that chacarron macarron roughly translates into “party powder”. Need I say more?

Where I sang the good praises for Africa’s splendid lyrics, I praise Chacarron for its lack of lyrics. Primal gurgling always gets me in the mood, so I’m sure it helped “Park Man”.

Honorable Mention #3) Ebony & Ivory by Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder

If you spend your entire life painting pictures of some fat, white guy’s life, you have to be a very accepting person. Nuff said.

Honorable Mention #4) My Humps as performed by Alanis Morissette

I think Rafiki is probably a humps kind of guy. (Damn, my commentating gets shorter and shorter as this post goes on…..I should end it now)

Rafiki’s Song is……………

Winner) In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly

Why? Because I’m willing to bet these guys took plenty of stuff to see things in their heads, much like our friends Rafiki and “Park Man”.